Power of web

I must admit I've never actually like fidgeting with the computer and all it's prog. I've unfortunately been arrowed to do web-editing and proof-read the stuff my 'web-partner' places on the website... yucks. However, when I was doing some editing stuff late last night, I kinda felt 'powerful'. I haven't actually felt that kind of rush for a real long time! It shouldn't be the case... as I really hate to do such things and feel that a lot of time is wasted foratting and re-formatting things... Maybe I'm on my road to 'hi-life'... in this case I have no idea if it's good or bad that I'm beginning to be drunk on life... again, I know I could just be shutting reality out and start my nonsensical day-dreaming of sorts permanently... an escapist will be what I am. Not exactly healthy!

I wonder what happened to my little prodigy. Her mum called me to tell me she went home crying. I suppose it has to do with the supposed teachers' day item she was supposed to put up for school. Oh well... lesson cancelled...

Stay positive, stay positive, stay positive!

These are my thoughts as I went through the day.
When I got up this morning, I actually thought to myself how lucky I was to be still alive... to be able to wake up and see a new day... there are many in this world who have no chance to do so... what triggered this?
Just yesterday night, I walked out of my place to the mainroad to mt a fellow conductor/friend to return a full score. We had a good talk over some tea about teaching methods, styles and stuff. We saw Brandon and waved - was then reminded that he was involved in an accident a couple of years ago...he still has problems with his movement... hence the quote up there. Anyways, this particular friend, being the gentleman he is, offered to walk me home! Thx! u know who u r!
Maybe it's because now I've to cease the day... just in case...

Thus, I got off to a decently bright start for the day. Several things happened along the way... but, I guess pretty negligible... This is a short week - lovely! but still don't like the idea of having to 'sit-through' teachers' day... call me wat u want but teachers' day celebration is all just a popularity contest. My job is to educate, not to become famous and well-liked...

I know I will survive... but how many ordeals would I have to go through?
There are times I've behaved totally oblivious of what's around me... can't you tell I'm actually really bothered about them? and that I try so hard to keep my feelings low...?
Will there be a 'Pot of Gold' waiting for me somewhere along this life journey I can finally fall back on?
Only God knows...

It's now after midnight... 1 am...
What am I doing up so late?

Warning: this is a sucky entry.

A late night really causes a stooopid headache... very much like those clubbing hang-overs. I guess I'm getting old. Going to the gym the past few days didn't really help my condition. I think I might just disappear from the surface of the earth anytime... it may be days, weeks, months... I don't know... I can practically feel myself disintegrating... day by day... I don't think it'll be too long... but I'll still swim and head to the gym... in the hope that my condition will improve...

I've decided... it's a waste of time. I won't stop trying but I won't try too hard either... it's totally sapping my energy, and you don't even realize it... I guess I'm just dumb and you're just numb. I shouldn't have believed... I really shouldn't. You broke your promise again... in the light of the statements earlier, I suppose it'll be selfish of me to expect anything since I'm due to leave anytime..

This last week has been real trying. My 2 I/C is still living in oblivion about many things... I see a resemblance in her working attitude to my previous 2 I/C. So last minute for what? If miss dateline, I'm not going to be responsible - I've, after all, reminded you.

The teaching part was fine... the other things - admin, counselling, marking and all the many, many decisions to make really kills the mood... sigh, the life of a teacher! The planning for the musical is underway... I really hope it goes well. I'm gonna have to desseminate info to the various pple so things can hopefully, (fingers crossed) move smoothly... with or without me.

Just home from Gym, and feeling quite refreshed... however...

Some interesting stuff happened yesterday... during our staff contact time/meeting... call it what you want... oops, 'after' is the correct preposition... haha...

1: My P came up to me and asked, over tea, if I knew anything about the Genting Highlands Band Competition... I was like...err... wow, you want us to go? I told her what I frankly thought. My band isn't quite ready for Competitions like this and well, let's put it this way, if we do travel anywhere, perhaps we can head for Jeju or Japan, instead of Genting? Anyway, P wanted to know what the thing was all about and how 'big' the event is. She knows I'm pretty ambitious where my band is concerned, I suppose, that's why she actually bothered to ask me. She's apparently ALL for fund-raising and stuff like that so it looks like we're really set to fly! (This is so exciting... I muz let my kids know!)

2: There's supposed to be some opening musical in school where we're supposed to combine all the performing arts groups and come up with some stuff... looks like a big event! Then came the shock... from me actually... because I was dead against the 'organiser's' idea of putting all our SYF pieces together into the musical to save us time... my my... sorry Amy for being bad... then the discussion brought a few more people and somehow there was this deal that - if I were to receive the script by 12 mn last night, I would find and fit the music in by the end of the Sept school hols. I muz take my hat off to that teacher: she really did send it to me... by 2356 hrs last night! Reading the script in a while... I can already picture it in my mind... Big Project, Big Project!!!

The Madagascar bass ostinato works well with the kids... they're kept entertained for a whole half hour!

A lot to do, a lot to do!

Still wondering what in the almighty universe happened to you... am I wasting my time? I feel so let down, again... Your priorities are so different, I can't understand... yet that makes you stand out from all the rest... should I give it up?
There again, I feel the need to live by this quote:
"Today I will give everything I have, for anything I keep I will have lost forever."
You may hate me because of this...
but...
I have my reasons...

I had a dream... a song to... (nah what am I doing?)
it was more like a nightmare wanna be...

What triggered the dream
1) yesterday night's food at kuishin-bo
2) my insecurity about a friendship
3) anxiety about my life
4) fear tht my health is going downhill

My takes on this: if it's any of the above...
1) don't eat so much for dinner!
2) no antidote here...
3) I guess... Live and let live?
4) Start exercising! - today... later... go Gym!

The Dream...
The Characters:
A - A girl who's an acquaintance, haven't spoken to her in a long time, but who also knows B.
B - A guy who claims to be a good friend... but I don't see it... actions speak louder than words!
C - Some girl I don't know... Only know her name... don even know face.
ME!

It's very weird, I don't even remember what actually happened. I just know I was very, very upset about the situation... sigh... and I was woken up by that emotion @ 5.45 this morning... oh sigh...

It's the end of the 2nd day of the week and I'm still thinking about my weekend...

Yesterday was a pretty tiring day. I actually managed to miraculously squeeze in a quick lunch with Wee Meng... hey, it's been a really long time since we spoke to each other! Late afternoon, I joined Ben @ Coffee Bean WM (I'm never having the caesar salad with tuna ever again!) for a couple of hours before heading back to teach piano. The little girl's technique has improved... on the way to success!

Over assembly today, was speaking to my 2nd-in-charge... all of a sudden she just blew up... oh gosh... her temper! I don't understand her... there again... how many pple do we really understand? I guess, if I don't tell her to do anything and she happily sits and does nothing, she'll stop blowing her top...! Then I have a 2nd in-charge for wat?

Today's music lessons were a breeze... one class almost drove me up the wall - because 7 pupils didn't bring their files! hey... I know sometimes lessons may be a bit boring at times... that's wat makes pple look forward to the fun activities, ain't it?

And the Top blew again in the afternoon. I kinda just stepped into the staffroom for a breather (to pack my bags and go off for a mtg) and see to a pupil when she charged to my place and demanded me to tell the pupils wat to do... I'm sorry my dear - but I'm busy and have to rush off... and still she insisted... I couldn't help it... There was absolutely no time for me to do it and I just reverted the load of them to the email that I'd sent with all the instructions... The demanding and complaining went on for a while and then stopped...

I don't think I've expected her to do anything beyond her capabilities... I doubt I've been unfair to her... I've been handling so much stuff, can't she handle just an itsy bitsy teeny weeny little bit of responsibility?

On a high note, after the mtg, I had dinner with my soon-to-be 'God-son's' parents... lucky they've not bugged me again about looking for a 'Godfather' for their son... It's not that I'm not looking... I've looked and failed... and looked again... I thought I've found you... but I guess we're not meant to be...

Just got back home from IMM an hour ago... bought a number of bags...
Spent over a hundred big ones... and so another day passes me by...

Spent the morning and afternoon doing up worksheets and hand-outs for my GMP classes. Finally finished at 1630 hrs and decided to catch a nap. Was awoken by PM Lee blasting on the TV at about 2000 hrs... only to see a few msgs. Ruiting msged me... about mtg at IMM to borrow her Fila discount card... Of course I went, after a quick shower. She was with her friend who's funny and really friendly...
'Crawled' home after the whole thing... with huge and bulky purchases...

Kinda looking forward to school this week... with all its handouts and interesting teaching ideas... I seriously hope these ideas are improvements to my original plans! And looking forward to the weekend's puzzle making session (prob i gotta be the one to remind the person again... as usual... it would be nice if he really takes the initiative to mt up as promised... for once)

Just back from band practice @ BBCC.

Decided not to join the rest for the usual Mac's dinner... my head's still pounding from this morning!!! Brought dinner home instead...

Got up at 8 this morning only to try and get back to sleep again... but to no avail. The pounding headache totally totally kept me awake. Finally crawled out of bed at 11+. Received several msges from various pple. Prob the most interesting msg was the one from Samuel asking me how much I usually charge for piano accompaniment and if I was interested to accompany for the Piano and Violin Competition this Dec... Why muz everything fall in Dec??? Why??? I'd love to accompany... but already have plans to go Osaka and Tokyo and maybe even Cambodia, Hong Kong and Guangzhou... and why muz Christmas fall in Dec too...??? So many things to do... so little time to do them... and some person I know is still looking for things to do even with his already schedule... Then there was this msg from Chok Sin... finally he msgs back... about lunch today. After several msgs and a missed call, settled on having lunch together at Westmall. We had lunch at the Food Court (and trust this guy to order too much food...) talk about a light lunch...! Subsequently, it was drinks at Coffee Bean... and again I get free lunch and tea (Thanks Chok! - not that you'll read this anyways) Well, of all days, I had to bump into the ex-2C pupils of my school and a band student at Westmall... but they're decent kids lah.

Church was fun... kinda enjoy going back to Holy Cross to play again... still on a temp basis... I left because I was unhappy with certain things...

Prob the reason why I have this humongous headache is from the 'audit' stress and the extremely late night... got home at only3.30 this morning... After several hours @ Coffee Club with Ben, Ras and Min...

Dinner last night was reasonable, it was with Colin and his student at Billy Bombers... As usual there was a tonne of crap... but quite a bit of useful information about pple and the band scene nonetheless...

Just back for about an hour from my little prodigy's lesson. She's just so adorable... sigh...
Joanne's a very nice piano student. She asks questions that can make you think... Have been teaching her for over 2 years now. Lennie passed me this pupil... He's a big and loud guy... he said she's afraid of him... She said the same... I digress...
Anyways half-way through the lesson, heard this 'mi-soh-doh' tune... Superstar! Reminded me of my NIE days when we were singing 'Eres Tu' - spanish title/ 'Touch the Wind' - English Title. The last time I actually heard this lovely song was when I was in Chok Sin's car on the way to Geylang for 'dou hua'... and naturally, hearing even the slightest resemblance of the music earlier this evening brings back memories... sigh... will the puzzle ever be completed???

Pretty hectic day. External Audit on Monday! That means all my band instruments and scores have to be logged and double-checked against ALL purchases since 2001!!! How on Earth...? But I muz applaud my pupils for being so ready to do their job... but still undone... a few more days to go... wonder what would happen.

Just when I thought everything was going fine...

Life's just like that isn't it?

I'm supposed to have like 1 1/2 hours break so that I can go have lunch or brunch... turns out I've to step into the most horrendous class for a whole hour for relief!!! How am I gonna survive, how am I gonna survive, how am I gonna survive??? sigh...

Everytime things seem like they're going uphill and staying, down everything plunges... thus the phrase "What goes up MUST come down?"... I digress... We're not talking about gravity here for goodness' sake!!!

Dear God
You are the WAY to the TRUTH and the LIGHT...
Your WILL be Done...

Where do I start?

The "invention" of the "thing that shall not be named" sparked this whole blogging thing off.
The other was the reading and the realizing that a fellow friend actually blogs too! Hey, ^5!

Few would realize I'm around. This is juz a first entry...

Is this an effort to make my thoughts and feelings known to the world, my friends, my prospective friends? Maybe I just intend for only ONE to read it? I have no idea. Just posting.

But hey, I've gotta head to school in 6 hours! Time to hit the sack!
Can't teach with eyes closed, can I?