I'm lost... in translation...
I've come to a state I've really no idea what I really want anymore... why and how did that happen? I've really no idea... I'm so very very very lost... I used to have like billions of goals... billions of things to fulfill and do... for myself and for those around me... however, things have changed...
I used to have goals to work towards... plenty of deadlines to meet... exams to practice and study for... things to try and figure out... I'm tired... I have no energy to do so... and the best part is, there's no more drive to even further my music education either locally or overseas... the best part is, I kinda actually have (maybe now it's 'had) this ?-year plan... to do things and pursue stuff... am I a workaholic? Oh no... I am?! nah... got many things to do... just no drive... no drive... no more kick left... I'm just doing things for the sake of doing things... it's not as if I'm unhappy about the way things are at the moment... it's also not as if I'm extremely contrived or enthusiastic about them... perhaps 'lack of emotion' is the phrase to use here...
It's only the beginning part of a camp... I'm exhausted... and kinda worried... therefore I'm still up at this time of the night... and I do think age does play a part in determining the amount of sleep I need and am willing to get... am so conditioned to slpg late and waking really early tht nowadays, I can't get myself to slp before 1... mum says it's the cause of my losing much hair... oh no...
I sooooo should pack my table... and clean out my cupboards... but... how, where and when do I start? Prob gonna give the BHF celeb a miss this fri... prob end up too tired to move... whatever the case... still considering... really dunno
I've come to a state I've really no idea what I really want anymore... why and how did that happen? I've really no idea... I'm so very very very lost... I used to have like billions of goals... billions of things to fulfill and do... for myself and for those around me... however, things have changed...
I used to have goals to work towards... plenty of deadlines to meet... exams to practice and study for... things to try and figure out... I'm tired... I have no energy to do so... and the best part is, there's no more drive to even further my music education either locally or overseas... the best part is, I kinda actually have (maybe now it's 'had) this ?-year plan... to do things and pursue stuff... am I a workaholic? Oh no... I am?! nah... got many things to do... just no drive... no drive... no more kick left... I'm just doing things for the sake of doing things... it's not as if I'm unhappy about the way things are at the moment... it's also not as if I'm extremely contrived or enthusiastic about them... perhaps 'lack of emotion' is the phrase to use here...
It's only the beginning part of a camp... I'm exhausted... and kinda worried... therefore I'm still up at this time of the night... and I do think age does play a part in determining the amount of sleep I need and am willing to get... am so conditioned to slpg late and waking really early tht nowadays, I can't get myself to slp before 1... mum says it's the cause of my losing much hair... oh no...
I sooooo should pack my table... and clean out my cupboards... but... how, where and when do I start? Prob gonna give the BHF celeb a miss this fri... prob end up too tired to move... whatever the case... still considering... really dunno
posted by lesmjuzycyan at
5:36 PM
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