Pessimism on the loose...
Ever felt that you think too much some times? I feel that like ALL the time now...
Take yesterday for instance, I totally freaked out and blew my top when I heard that too many pupils were not around for prac. And I thought it was really irresponsible... just because teachers are not there to control them!? - was wat i thought. checked the list this morning... realised that most were valid reasons 'cept for a couple typical case. see... over-reaction... thinking too much. always imagining the worse (so that I'll be 'happier' if situation weren't that BAD?)
Everything's kinda going fine i suppose. Band kids are finally settling down... leaders doing their work (after much chasing still of course) but they're new... I really need to learn to forgive them. So, on the Band end of things, could have been much worse with T-I-Cs not doing their jobs... and leaders not leading properly...
This is bad, but at such point, I keep thinking that in no time, this wonderful little situation will just come crashing down and crushing me again... perhaps, it's not a case of pessimism, but rather, (and this has happened before...) too many good things can't continue happening, which means tht some way along the way, the world and structure will come crashing down... and I gotta start picking up the pieces of emotion again...
Life is not a bed of roses... it's the presence of thorns that make the roses so appreciated isn't it?
But it seems to have to the point that I'm so afraid of the thorns that I'm actually not even fully appreciating the roses while i have them... I'm even staying away from them...
I guess there's always 2 sides to the coin. Things can move either way, I guess, to cripple or to nurture you...
Ever felt that you think too much some times? I feel that like ALL the time now...
Take yesterday for instance, I totally freaked out and blew my top when I heard that too many pupils were not around for prac. And I thought it was really irresponsible... just because teachers are not there to control them!? - was wat i thought. checked the list this morning... realised that most were valid reasons 'cept for a couple typical case. see... over-reaction... thinking too much. always imagining the worse (so that I'll be 'happier' if situation weren't that BAD?)
Yet another over-reacting instance... but won't specify it here... lest i give myself away... just feel it's really dumb. I think I really need to tear myself away from 'i feel' and 'i think'... too dependant on feelings and actions... tht may or may not mean anything... oh, wat's the point of thinking...
This is bad, but at such point, I keep thinking that in no time, this wonderful little situation will just come crashing down and crushing me again... perhaps, it's not a case of pessimism, but rather, (and this has happened before...) too many good things can't continue happening, which means tht some way along the way, the world and structure will come crashing down... and I gotta start picking up the pieces of emotion again...
Life is not a bed of roses... it's the presence of thorns that make the roses so appreciated isn't it?
But it seems to have to the point that I'm so afraid of the thorns that I'm actually not even fully appreciating the roses while i have them... I'm even staying away from them...
I guess there's always 2 sides to the coin. Things can move either way, I guess, to cripple or to nurture you...
posted by lesmjuzycyan at
11:02 PM
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