It's freaking late & I'm freaking tired...

And it's one of those nights...

It's almost 1 am... and I'm in school...
Supposed to be able to go to sleep, i guess... but somehow just ended up sitting here...
thinking... thinking...
what life has to offer, what life is all about...
and more importantly, what i've been given this life to do...

Have always had this feeling I'm here for a reason... but never been able to place my finger on the reason...
Will I ever be able to place my finger on it?
Do I want to place my finger on it...?
Perhaps it has always been there, but I just push it away...

I think of what I'd been doing the whole day, what I've been seeing, what I've been hearing.
I realize I'm a very very reactive person... perhaps a little too reactive for my own good...
Perhaps a little too reactive for this profession i'm in...

Perhaps I'm in that stage again... life's losing it's meaning for me... or is it?

Questions-a-plenty again...

Everyone's life seems to be moving forward... BUT mine... so what happened to my life?
When did it stop moving forward?
When did it begin to stagnate?