History... in the making?

This needs another post... no relation to the previous one...

While doing invigilation... and dreaming... this occurred to me... When I was in sec 1 and 2 and taking History, I utterly hated the damn subject... it was partly the memorising... memorising anything but music and music history makes me YAWN!... partly the B^TCHy teacher that taught it... she was the kind who insisted everyone had 2 margins on every page of our history note books... one on the left and one on the right... the result? no more than 5 or 6 words could be written on any line... stupid waste of space and paper! of course, from SA1, i happily failed all my history papers and never bothered to even study much... I even happily declare my failures...

Sudden twist of mind-set this year... it wasn't until I visited Angkorwat and The Killing Fields in Cambodia that I took and interest in History... sadistic? maybe... but all of a sudden, I wanted to know a lot of things... so many qsns... why did all these pple behave so inhumanely... how did these pple get allies... what was the main driving force behind their doings... etc... why why why...?

I'm having 2nd thoughts about exactly why I have such an inclination towards world history only right now... is it just a passing phase? is it because... nah...shall not say more here...

I don't think you give a damn...
I don't think I should either...
To you, I'm dead...
To you, I'm non-existent...

Yes, it's mood swings... I'm swinging in and out of depression... not good for me... not good for anyone around me... but because you're living in your don't care world... I don't see why I should care either... I lead my life the way I like... the way I want... (like as if I have much of a bluddee choice... I would have chosen you whatever pains it cause...)

Suddenly so many chinese songs are catching my attention... the tune, the words... SHIT... damn the words... I feel...