Thoughts a random - no more

It's suddenly one of those times... everyone seems to be busy with their life, career, work, anything and I'm kinda like bummin ard... not because I've got nothing to do... hell... I've got plenty of music sitting ard waiting for me to arrange and plenty of work to do! I still have my LRSM piano pieces to pick and prac... I haven't gone for a single piano lesson for a long time! Just don't feel like doing... escapist at work! Such a 'wonderful' teacher I am... huh... and a 'wonderful' example I'm setting. Who cares, nobody sees me in this situation...

I feel fat again... I really shouldn't eat after 8... it must be my down mood making me eat again... sigh...

I was reasonably happy with my band practice with the kids yesterday. Cleared the pieces I expected to clear... in educational terms, it was one of those times I was able to meet my objectives for the 3-hour prac. It was a hard fight to even hold the 3 hours - here's the scoop: the room we keep our instruments in and have been practicing in for the past year or so had to go through some inspection thingy and there were contractors in there doing goodness knows what to the ceiling and all... smoke and stink all around! How on earth were the kids supposed to prac? breathe and die?!? ha... then the leaders and myself thought the panel room or AVA Room could be used - only to realise there are mtgs and apparently choir is using one of the rooms... then we thought of the HALL! The gallery could be used! almost 3 solid hours of prac in tht stuffy place... but at least it was a prac place...

No one could make it for dinner yesterday eve... the usu, tht is Colin (was sick) and Ben (prob still rushin down from RELC) both couldn't make it. Headed for NIE band prac... so many JC kids! was feeling extra until I realized the reason for their appearance... The arrival of Philp Sparke! - I adore 'Fiesta' written by this guy. Most of his pieces are also pretty decent. Although 'Postcards from Singapore' was what he conducted during the one-hour workshop with us was technically very simple and all the more so for my part - 3rd Clrt, I was kinda bored... but hey, it's a decent piece of 3-movemnt work! Good to listen to, but not very interesting to play... I recall enjoying Central Band's performance of this same piece 2 years ago, leaving a deep impression... 'American Elegy' by Frank Ticheli falls under this category of nice to listen but not very interesting to play/prac... performing these pieces is a different manner altogether.

Still thinking whether I should head for choir tmr... don't feel like staying for the interview after that... cuz I haven't been around that long... Only sang for 2 masses and gone for 2 pracs... how would I know if the choir's improved? I'm not even from that church for crying out loud! It's just a chance that I happened to step into that church... and kinda go there now cuz 1) it's near my place 2) I've got a few friends there as a result of the expedition in June.

**I understand you're busy, I find it hard to let go...
I shall try my best to live up to my own promise - to myself...
To not bother you any longer...
Am I a friend, or just a person who's screaming for attention,
I guess I'll never find out
- there'll never be a reply from you...
You'll never know, you won't bother...
no matter what you say, I know I can't expect it...
empty promises - it's all I'll ever know
if finally things do go my way, it's made
I should expect nothing - but I no longer trust myself.